Dear Prayer Partners,
Its funny how I look forward to writing to you. It's my most enjoyable writing other than to my own family. I feel like rather than writing we are having a visit and you do help me so much with your responses by cards and emails. You're tremendously encouraging and sometimes flattering remarks make me blush, and often make me pray, that I am not taking this credit or glory to myself. We all know it goes to God and I need to make sure that everything within me does not retain it for me but does truly pass it on to God.
Friday's mail brought me a really encouraging card from a friend and in it some really good Bible passages that I have been feeding on today and tonight. I want to share one with you, but first a story of a happening here that is kind of an example of what I often experience with inmates and even staff after I've been in a place for a while. Where people get to know me, not by our conversations, but by their observations. Even in saying this, I must say they are not observing me but by the grace of God they are observing Christ, in spite of me.
There is an inmate here who is (was) high in the Mafia family. He has been locked up for seventeen years, is still only about 47, but definitely carries himself as a man with a lot of authority. He has organized himself with the inmates so that he really looks like he runs this place, but he does it in a very good way so nobody dislikes it or him. The first day here he came to me and asked if there is anything he can do for me or anything I need, he will get it for me. He does so much and gives so much to people without cost. When guys are sick he goes to the store for them, does legal work for them, makes copies for them on his own card. My glasses frame broke and he was going to give me a frame. He has plenty of money on his account because that's part of his deal. When he gets out in six years (if he lives) he will be set for life. He has been set for life since he married because he married the Big Boss' daughter. She is known amongst the family as "The Princess". You can also tell there is a side to him which is pretty ugly. He was sent to prison on a six year sentence but it was increased to 23 because they said he was running the operation from prison. He showed me the indictment papers and it said he has ordered "contracts" on people. He showed me his scrapbook. Yes, it's like chapters from Bonnie and Clyde.
I'll call him Jim. Jim is on the Internet a lot and I am on it a lot, and he teased me that I am writing a book, and I said I am writing a book and I could tell he didn't like it. My thought was that he was afraid I might be a snitch or something like that. This week he said, "Goris, you're writing a book, but I'm going to get on your A__ . I thought Oh Oh. I made a point to get with him. He said "You got to realize you can't be on the keyboards there all the time. There are a lot of guys here that need those computers and you being on there for hours is a problem-------------- and he went on and on.
In a little bit I just interrupted him, and said, "Jim, that's alright. It's not a problem. I'm at a good place to stop right now and I will. I don't want to be a problem for you or for anyone else". He was taken aback, like I wasn't serious and started again. I told him, "No really. It's done. You needn't say anymore". Then I said, "But I'd like to meet with you and tell you about my book".
An hour later he came over and said, "OK, lets talk". I told him my story like I always do. It was my life story, but shortened and modified to fit our situation. It came to the ministry stuff and he said, "Are you a minister"? He was smiling. I said "No", and he said, "Let me tell you something".
"I thought there was something different about you. You are soft spoken, don't seem to make an issue out of your own interests, you just don't seem to fit here". Then he told me how he grew up in Dallas, the only child of a family, went to a Baptist church as a child, attended Dallas Christian Academy, named his first daughter after the name of the church, and showed me a big tattoo on his arm with the name of the church and daughter on his arm. Then he told me the story of how he became involved with the Mafia, married the boss' daughter, grew deeper and deeper in crime on a global basis. That's a whole story in itself.
Anyway, after all that he said, "Hey, your time on the computer really isn't a problem. Nobody has said anything to me about you doing that, I just wanted to get on you". I said, "Well, it's not a problem for me to give it up. I don't want to offend anyone and I just don't need to do that". He said, "No, please, please don't change anything. Please keep doing it, I'll be offended if you don't."
I've been here a month now and I notice something happening here that began happening in Duluth, but it took longer in Duluth. People are starting to acknowledge me more, greeting me, inviting me to sit at their table (some inmates set glasses by all the empty seats around them saving the seats for their phantom friends because they are fussy who they sit with). A lot of those things are happening. Add to that the encouraging and complementary emails and cards I get, to the point I pray to God that I give him the glory and not me, that I don't sin in this.
This lead me to just one of the passages that this friend sent me today. It is this:
II Corinthians 2:14-17. "But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in the triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among these who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to some a fragrance from death to death, to the others a fragrance of life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ."
I have come to believe that people are seeing something in me that has an attraction. It seems that as God has revealed more of himself to me, I gain more of an understanding of what it means to follow him. As he transforms me by the renewing of my mind, as I grow in humility and grace it is easier for me to admit my shortcomings and failures. I am growing in a way that reflects Christ more, and instead of seeing the self-centered man of the flesh that I am attempting to die to, Christ's spirit is transforming me, and Paul is calling that an aroma. Instead of the old aroma of "death to death", it is the aroma of Life to life. It's interesting that he says we are the aroma of Christ "to God". That is interesting. It seems he is saying this is a pleasing aroma to God. It also seems that Paul understands how I feel with this. He says, "Who is sufficient for these things?". I know I am not. I am not sufficient even for your encouragement or praise. Only God is in fact, it is only Jesus. I get to carry the aroma of Jesus because I am serving with him and something is rubbing off.
I used the word "I" in all of this, but it is true of you, too. The fact that you participate with me and encourage me, I sense the aroma of Christ in every email / card / letter, and every one who is praying for me. I pray this never becomes man-centered about me. I pray it will truly be interpreted that this is God-centered, that it is amazing what God can do with a fallen creature that he can pick up, wipe the dust off him, breath his breath into him, so that we can reflect his glory. That's what you do. That's what you are. That is what you carry -- the aroma of Christ.
And there are those who carry the aroma of death. There is a lot of that here, and you see it too in places; but that is not for us. God's people smell different. We are the aroma of Christ to God. First we are God's gift to Christ. Jesus said, "I came to receive all those whom the Father has given to me". Then we become the aroma of Christ to God.
Finally, Paul says, "We are not peddlers of God's word, but men of sincerity as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ." We are not peddlers, we do not "sell" the gospel. We are servers. We serve the gospel as a server in a fine restaurant.
"Good evening, My name is Bob. I will be your server this evening. For our main course tonight I highly recommend the Lamb. It was specially prepared by the Father, the master Chef. The lamb was conceived of the Holy Spirit, and born of a virgin. It was crucified, dead, buried and rose again. Tonight we offer the entree compliments of the chef. Of course the appetizer is prepared by the Holy Spirit. Unlike other appetizers that actually kill your appetite, this appetizer will make you hunger and thirst for the main course so that you will enjoy it for ever. Without this appetizer you will not see any need for the entry. You must begin with this appetizer. Then for dessert, I recommend the transformed life. It goes well with the entry and will bear witness to you, that everything I told you about the entry is true."
So you partake of the appetizer, receive the entree, and relish the desert. You want to show your gratitude to the master chef for his work. Now if the server took all he credit for the meal, wouldn't that be a shame, a disgrace? At the same time if the server was sloppy in the serving when he is delivering such an important meal, would that not also be a disgrace? For the privilege of working in such a fine restaurant, for such a fine chef, shouldn't the server be prepared in every possible way to make the most of such an opportunity to serve?. I believe so. I believe everyone of us servers should consider ourselves lifelong students of serving, so that when the master chef sees his important entree served, the entree he has given his life for, he is pleased.
Your Fellow Server,
Bob
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